


I'm Not Coming up for Air

by zosma



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, Shower Sex, wayv family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:00:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21742600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zosma/pseuds/zosma
Summary: When Ten can't pull the threads of privacy, of identity and control, away from the performance of his daily life, Kun helps him come down in the one place that's truly private-- the shower.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 296





	I'm Not Coming up for Air

**Author's Note:**

> This is truly disgusting romo marrieds kunten solike, take care of urself :\ 
> 
> Warnings: Ten being a shitty Pisces for a minute. Discussions of lack of privacy and autonomy. 
> 
> Title from Up 4 Air, Dounia.

Kun’s still learning what it means-- to be leader of this group, these boys, their family. He understands his responsibilities, he knows exactly what he’s on the hook for down to the last detail, could pull up color-coded itineraries for any of them easy as breathing. But what it means, the part that can’t be pulled apart into objective truths and arranged into logical sequences, that part is harder. 

He’s learning though. He knows he’s learning, because a year ago this situation would’ve had him screaming. It’s still there, the desperate feeling under his ribs like he’ll fly apart at the seams if he doesn’t make the chaos stop, but he can see it now. He can see it, and he doesn’t scream, order, demand, even though it’s like watching a storm swell rip towards the shore. 

Kun unlocks the door to their little home and ushers them inside with one of his public smiles, his heart beating too fast. He thinks about a year ago, before he’d admitted to himself that he loved Ten, even, that he loved exactly this about him, and wouldn’t change a thing. “Good work today everyone, let’s get some rest before tomorrow’s schedule.” 

Ten scoffs as he passes, “Good work today everyone!!!” he mocks, voice high and precious like he’s talking to a camera that isn’t there anymore. Kun feels his mouth twitch and pinch as he closes the door behind them.

Yangyang cackles at the familiar joke, innocent and electric and loud, wrestling out of his jacket in the entryway. “Yeah! Let’s get some rest everyone!” He grins, takes the bait that was meant for Kun. 

Kunhang must notice it too, how tension churns heavy around Ten, trapped in their little entryway, because when Yangyang stumbles into him it catches him off guard and they both stagger into the wall in a tangle of limbs. 

“What the fuck,” Ten says, too loud. “You’re both so clumsy, you’re in the way.” 

Yangyang looks a little indignant, but he’s still smiling. “At least I wasn’t the one messing up takes all day, ha ha!”

Ten bristles, his small frame suddenly reading compact, crackling with energy that seethes and swells around him. Kun holds his breath, and a sharp, plastic smile splits over Ten’s face. “You’re right, because you were in the back the whole time, weren’t you.” 

Yangyang’s smile slips and he looks confused for a moment, a split second that worms its way into Kun’s chest and aches there. Kunhang draws, meets his eyes, from where he’s still leaned against the wall and watching closely. This part is his responsibility too. He shakes his head, tiny and firm, and nods towards the living room. Kunhang goes, following Sicheng’s slow retreat to his room. 

Ten gets like this, sometimes, used to a lot more often, when it becomes too hard to pull the threads of privacy, of identity and control, away from the daily performance of their lives. Ten’s learning too, Kun thinks, even if it doesn’t look like it right now. 

Kun’s heart is still pounding and-- It’s almost exhilarating, he realizes, feeling a little unhinged. There’s no point looking for patterns in Ten right now, for reason or logic or a solution to this problem. There’s no right answer, and while it still makes Kun sweat, the fear is drained right out of him, replaced by a wildness he can barely recognize in himself. This is what Ten does to him. 

“It must be _so_ exhausting, being the center of attention all day,” Kun says to Yangyang, letting his eyes crinkle playfully, smile leading. “we should take care of our dance diva.” 

Yangyang catches on, smile widening as he turns away from Ten. “Yeah, he probably needs to go sit on his throne or something.” 

Kun laughs, a little wild because it feels like a risk, but still he reaches out for Ten’s shoulders. “Right, would your majesty like a drink?” He asks, squeezing and digging his thumbs into Ten’s shoulders in a rough massage. 

Ten shrieks, twisting in Kun’s hold and laughing suddenly loud and even though it’s what Kun wanted, it still blows him away every time. The way Ten’s emotions can spin on a dime, even as they engulf him is utterly foreign to Kun. He’s relieved, and a little awed. 

“That’s right, I demand cookies and an americano, peasants!” Ten shouts gleefully, accepting Kun’s jab and draping it around himself like royalty, even while he squirms and shakes, still trying to shake off Kun’s hold as he digs and prods into sore muscles. 

“Anything for you, your majesty!” Yangyang bows with a flourish and then escapes down the hall away from them, sliding on his socks into the kitchen.

Kun feels something in his chest unclench a little, now that they’re alone, now that he can face Ten and walk straight into the hurricane waiting for him. Kun turns Ten in his grip, holding him at arms length to see him properly. Even through the layers of clothes Kun can feel the heat of his skin. 

Kun leans in, studies his face. The truth is on display now, with nowhere to hide and his short hair swept up and back. Kun brings a hand up to brush a stray fleck of glitter from Ten’s cheekbone and breathes deeply. 

“Kun,” Ten swallows and Kun is close enough to hear his throat work. 

One touch and a moment of stillness and the haughtiness has dropped clean off him, but instead of leaving him raw and fragile like it sometimes does, it’s left him burning. Kun can see it in the set of his jaw, the way his eyes still burn demanding and assured but it’s not an act anymore. It’s beautiful on him, Kun marvels, that confidence. Even more so for the way it’s shot through with vulnerability. With the acknowledgement that Kun sees him, understands his flaws and what he needs. It makes Kun ache, an urgency pushing at him to show Ten that he can be trusted, that he wants to be depended upon like this. 

“Come shower with me Kun-ge.” Ten says, and it’s not a question, but it is a surender. Kun can feel Ten’s breath on his face and he lets one hand slide up Ten’s shoulder to the exposed skin of his nape. 

“Okay, let’s go take a shower.” Kun watches the way Ten’s face relaxes like it’s a relief and swallows down a rush of pride. 

-

The thing about the shower is that it’s not _just_ the shower. It’s the last sacred little corner of privacy they have left in this life. The only place they can really be sure a camera won’t follow. It’s where they talk, where they cry, where they get off.

Kun sends Ten ahead and detours to the kitchen where Yukhei, Kunhang and Yangyang are scrounging for dinner. Their conversation quiets when he enters and Kun takes advantage of their attention on him to ask what he came to. “Anyone need anything from the big bathroom for a while?” 

“Nope,” Yukhei answers cheerfully, pulling two waterbottles from the fridge and handing them to Kun. 

“Oh, thank you.” Kun jerks out a hand to take the bottles, a little off-footed by Yukhei’s easy acceptance, his perception. It wasn’t remarkable by any means, for a pair of them to shower together, but it’s the first time in a while for Kun and Ten, the first since they told the group about their relationship. 

“Gege, it’s not my place to ask but,” Kunhang bites at his bottom lip, back straight and brow determined, and meets Kun’s eyes. “Is Ten-ge okay?”

Kun smiles, small and sincere. As much as being the leader to their family sometimes makes him feel like it, Kunhang isn’t a kid, none of them really are, and even if Kun’s first instinct is to protect them, he can’t lie problems away. “It was a rough day.” He says honestly, shrugging. “You should ask him yourself, later tonight, once he’s had a chance to cool off.” Kun offers, turns to Yangyang and Yukhei to meet their eyes too. Ten might not want to see them all, but he’ll want to apologize to Yangyang. Kun will let him decide that when the time comes. 

Yukhei smiles easily, reaching out to slap a hand against Kun’s back and then rub the sting away with his wide palm. “Sounds good, ge.” 

-

Ten has the shower running when Kun steps in, the water rushing loudly and steam already starting to build in the room. Kun locks the door behind him and watches Ten. 

He’s removing his make up at the sink, eyes closed and a wipe pressed hard to his eyes. Kun bites back the reprimand that he should be gentler, use proper remover. He’s stripped out of his jeans and his hoodie and he looks somehow smaller, like this, just briefs and a tee shirt, eyes closed. His shoulders are still tense, though, his free hand clenched tight into the hem of his shirt. 

“That’s kinda creepy, you should say something.” Ten says tersely, still rubbing at his eye makeup. 

“Sorry, I just wanted to watch you.” Kun coughs, caught, and comes over to hook his chin over Ten’s shoulder. He’s still warm, out from under all his layers, and Kun wraps his arms around his waist, tugging back, hoping he’ll relax. 

Ten tenses, wobbles a bit on his feet before leaning back with a sigh, giving in bit by bit and letting Kun support his weight against his chest. 

“I want you to watch me. Just you.” Ten says, voice small but sure, and Kun meets his eyes in the mirror, swallowing thickly as the words melt down his spine and settle in his guts. Even here, in this one oasis of privacy, Ten wants him there. Ten wants to be seen by him. Kun shifts on his feet a little, flexing his hips and thighs and feels his cock start to fill up. 

Ten must feel it too, because he snorts and shifts to take his weight back. He aims a smirk at Kun in the mirror as he wiggles his ass, presses back suddenly hard against Kun. It makes him jump, his fingers twitching to grab tight around Ten’s hips, not sure if it’s to hold him tight or away.

“Okay, okay, let’s get in,” Kun says, patting at Ten’s hip before stepping away. “We’re wasting water.”

“Okay gege.” Ten says sweetly, and pulls the last of his layers off. 

Kun swallows roughly and strips out of his clothes too, following Ten into the steamy shower. 

It’s hot, too hot for Kun, and he knows for a fact his skin will flush bright red. It’s worth it though, watching Ten sigh happily, shuffling into the spray a little at a time until he’s tipping his head back, letting the water pour over his crown and down his shoulders. There’s suddenly so much skin, hot and wet-slick that Kun feels a little dizzy with the desire to touch it all. 

Ten has his eyes closed again, but the small smile on his lips, and the way his hip is cocked to show off the long curve of his thigh reminds Kun that he’s meant to be watching. 

“Feel good?” 

Ten pushes his wet hair out of his face, lets his eyes slit open to find Kun and lets out a pleased hum that’s answer enough. Kun wants to kiss him, crowd him close, press him against the cool tile of the shower and lose himself in Ten. That’s what he wants, but it’s not his goal, so he waits for Ten.

He doesn’t have to wait long. 

“Are you going to come touch me?” Ten asks, pumping some of Kun’s body wash into his hands and working it into white suds against his chest. Kun’s eyes hook on the way Ten’s fingers slip over his nipples and he groans, the scent of mandarin and basil filling the air around him. They both wear the scent, but it just reminds him of Ten now. 

Kun’s skin ripples with confused shivers as steps under the hot spray and around Ten to fit again against his back. His skin is even warmer now and Kun leans close to press a wet kiss behind Ten’s studded ear, wrap his arms around his waist. “How’s this?”

Ten hums, leaning back against Kun immediately this time. It makes him smile. Kun loves this, loves how the couple inches of height he has on Ten make it easy to hold him, even if their frames are similar, even if despite Kun’s efforts, Ten still has a bit more muscle on him.

“This is nice,” Ten says, and it’s light and drawn out so Kun just waits. “But I want you to _touch me._ ” 

Kun pulls in a breath and spreads a hand wide against Ten’s hip, slides it across to his belly and up over his ribs, firm and steady. The soap makes Ten’s skin even more velvety slick and Kun drags it around as far as he can reach, circling at Ten’s bully button, brushing quick and ticklish across his ribs, and up to tease at his nipples. He brushes his fingers over them the same way Ten did, letting each finger drag and catch. It has Kun shivering, his cock hard against his thigh and itching to be pressed between Ten’s cheeks, just barely out of reach. 

“Better?” Kun asks, a little strained. 

Ten twitches in his arms and rolls his head back to rest on Kun’s shoulder, giving even more of himself over. “Yes, more.” 

“More how?” Kun presses, giving in and sealing his hips against Ten’s ass in a tight grind. 

It’s impulsive, but the gasp Ten lets out is beyond gratifying, high and electric. He doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of hearing the way Ten comes apart for him, of seeing the proof that he can take Ten apart.

“God, you’re--” Ten grits out, grinding back against Kun’s cock for a few dizzying seconds before spinning around and shoving Kun against the shower wall. “ _More,_ like I want to fucking come.” 

Kun goes easily, feels suddenly like laughing, delighted. Ten is a whirlwind and Kun throws himself in every time. He settles his back against the shock of cold tile and tugs Ten between his legs, catches his mouth in a kiss. It’s messy-wet and fast and Kun pants through his nose to keep up with Ten, to chase his tongue when it flicks out to soothe after the little bites he likes sinking into Kun’s bottom lip. He can feel it swelling already and groans, tugging Ten closer to grind their cocks together, to drown the little stings of pain with a wave of pleasure. 

Ten is wild like this, shameless and impatient as he presses and grinds against Kun. It’s dizzying, chaotic, and it’s everything Kun can do to keep track of Ten’s hands and mouth on his skin. Ten’s tucked under his chin, licking filthy wet stripes up his neck, his hard cock pressed tight to Kun’s hip where he’s working himself in tight little circles, moaning openly. 

“Please, please, Kun,” Ten whimpers, reaches out to grip desperately at Kun’s cock, suddenly jerking him too hard too fast. 

“Oh fu-- oohh fuck, woah woah, hey,” Kun stutters, even as his body curls in around Ten and his hips snap up hard, fucking into Ten’s grip. Ten just trembles against Kun’s neck, groans in frustration when he can’t get the right leverage, can’t tip them both over that instant like he wants. 

“Let me, Ten- baby let me,” Kun pants, gets his hands on Ten’s shoulders and spins them around until it’s Ten pressed against the tile, Ten looking up with his eyes wet, mouth kissed red and open and wet too. He’s so beautiful it makes Kun’s throat squeeze closed, finally cracked open, raw and unguarded and only for him. 

“Let me make you come, baby,” Kun manages, brings a hand up to push through the short spikes of Ten’s hair and trail behind his studded ear, back down his neck, settling heavy on Ten’s nape. He wants it more than he wants to come himself and the thought rings through him ridiculous and dangerous. This is what Ten does to him. 

Ten nods frantically, reaches for Kun, melts back into a kiss that he lets Kun lead. It’s slower this time, dripping, each slide and press and part deliberate and blending into the next. It’s hypnotizing, Kun’s lips tingling thickly. It has Ten going boneless and hot, finally, his neck going lax in Kun’s grip and Kun feels a rush of pride sweep clean through him. “That’s better, right?”

“Right.” Ten agrees even as he pouts, tilting his head to the side and nudging his hips forward pointedly. 

Kun ignores his demand for now, instead reaching back for his body wash and pumping it into his hands. The scent of warm peppery citrus bursts around them again and Kun’s dick twitches in answer. He’s so fucked.

Ten watches him lazily, arches prettily, eyes slitted and leading and Kun allows himself to be led. He trails soapy fingertips back to Ten’s nipples, circling and swiping over them until they form perfect little peaks that he can pinch. It makes Ten tense and exhale, like he’s holding back, so Kun does it again, pinches hard at both his nipples until Ten slumps, moans thick and desperate.

“You’re so gorgeous Ten, fuck I can’t believe how gorgeous,” Kun murmurs, trails his soapy hands down to the pretty curve of his hips and between his strong thighs. Kun loves his thighs unabashedly, has spent hours between them kissing and sucking and biting. Now though, it’s teasing touches, nudging Ten’s legs apart for him, as he trails his fingers up to Ten’s balls and then-- finally, finally drags his fist over Ten’s cock. It’s so hard in his grip, foreskin pulled back tight, barely flexing away from Ten’s body as Kun starts up a sweet little rhythm. 

Ten’s knees go weak immediately and he pitches forward and shakes. He’s heavy in Kun’s arms, gives his weight over without hesitation and Kun-- he did that. 

It has him speeding up, twisting his fist around the head of Ten’s cock and leaning in to pant against Ten’s cheek. He wants this, he wants it so bad it doesn’t even make sense. 

“I want you to come,” he pants, rough, “Can you come for me?” 

Ten’s cock kicks hard in his hand and Kun thinks he is, thinks he’s going to come just like he’s been asked, but then he’s growling, teeth bared ferocious and pulls back to glare at Kun. “Don’t make me come without you, what the fuck,”

Kun’s brain skids to a halt, and all he can do is agree, shift even closer to press their lengths together. “Okay, okay, together,” 

It’s overwhelming, the heat of Ten’s cock against his own, the tight squeeze of his fist, the way he can feel Ten’s thighs tremble on each downstroke, each time he twists his palm around the heads of their dicks. They aren’t going to last, and Kun whines, pants, sets his teeth against Ten’s collar bone and feels the delicate skin between bone and teeth and doesn’t bite down.

Kun’s head is spinning, heady and hot and so lost in the feeling of falling apart with Ten that he misses it at first. 

“Kiss me, come back here, Kun-- Kun please,” Ten calls, his eyes squeezed tight and slipping into english, his voice low and wrecked, begging sweetly for what he needs. 

Kun’s hand stutters and jumps, stroking over them faster as he pushes forward to kiss him, seals his lips over Ten’s and then fucks his tongue between them, thick and undeniable and matching the rhythm of his hand and that’s it, it’s what Ten needs. He snaps into an arch, limbs shuddering as he screams his release against Kun’s mouth, his hips kicking and stuttering into Kun’s grip. 

It’s hot, it’s too hot, each pulse of Ten’s come slicked down their lengths with Kun’s hand and he’s ready for it, ready to lose himself. Ten’s wrecked pants turn to whines as his orgasm starts to recede and he pulls back to nip at Kun’s lips, hard and stinging even through the buzzing numbness and Kun let’s go. He crowds closer, pushes Ten against the tile hard and shuddery and comes between them.

They end up on the shower floor, giggling and panting and marveling that the hot water hasn’t run out yet. Ten splays his limbs out wide and breathes deeply, looking so peaceful that Kun tries to swallow down the little hitching laughs that still ripple through him. He’s sure there’s a dopey, punchdrunk grin on his face but he can’t bring himself to do anything but enjoy it. 

“I really needed that, didn’t I.” Ten says, and his voice is light and lilting and plainly sincere. Kun feels his heart ache with fondness and reaches for his hand, threading their fingers together. 

“It’s okay.” 

Ten smiles, a little crooked and hauls in a deep breath, only to push it out even more forcefully and meet Kun’s eyes, his gaze soft and expansive. “Thank you.” 

Kun feels his cheeks tingle and hopes he’s not doing his skin permanent damage by being flushed so hot. Ten gets like this after they have sex, bloomed fully open and blindingly perfect, and it gets to him every time, even as he treats it like gold. “You don’t need to say that,” 

Ten squeezes his hand tight and quick and smiles, his eyes and the corners of his lips turned up into sweet little curls.”Okay then. Wash my hair gege.” 

He can’t hold back the laughter then, peals of giggles that shake him right out of his head, even as he goes easily, happy to be asked. Happy to be given the chance to give Ten something he wants, even if it’s as small as this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading friends! pls talk to me about kunten :0 !!


End file.
